Hi there, Mr. HomeScholar here…
It has come to my attention that homeschool dads will sometimes struggle understanding their wives. Lee asked me to help explain the homeschool mom perspective to the dads out there.
As a public service, I wanted to share my Homeschool Mom Universal Translator with your husband. Could you please pass this on to him? Consider it my gift to you. You might want to print this out and keep it in your wallet for handy reference.
Did you read my blog post, Disapproving, Insensitive Relatives Translator (DIRT)? This can help if you have other family members that disapprove of your homeschooling your children.
For up-to-date information on how to translate your homeschool mom messages, check out this article: TheHomeschool Mom Decoder.
Blessings,
Matt
To print your Homeschool Mom Universal Translator (HMUT) click the link below:
PS. Get our FREE resources guide, “The 5 Biggest Mistakes Parents Make Homeschooling High School.” I promise you will love it or DOUBLE your money back!!
This is soooo true. I love it. The way the different spouse interprets things is so amazing.
That made me laugh so hard! I had to retweet it and post a link to our homeschooling forum. So very funny. Thanks for sharing!
We were laughing so hard we CRIED! It’s weird that it can be so funny and so true at the same time, LOL! I’m not even going to confess how many of those I have actually said aloud!
Blessings,
Lee
Love it! It goes back to men wanting to fix things, but women just need to vent!
This is awesome!
I NEED more translators JUST like this!
I have heard a few of these (and mistranslated them…)
I have this printed out now and will make TONS of copies for my friends.
Got to run share this NOW!
Could you make this into a power point/video FOR my husband? He won’t read it and remember it otherwise.
Hi Marie,
GREAT IDEA! A Powerpoint! LOL! That is a REALLY good idea! I’ll tell my hubby to do that.
Blessings,
Lee
My wife showed me this & we laughed out loud at this several times.
But just so you wives don’t think it’s merely a boneheaded husband thing :
I had an old preacher friend tell me one time that there were three parts to every sermon he preached —
1) What he said
2) What he meant to say
3) What you heard
Thanks for posting. This was priceless
That is sooo awesome!
This is SOOOOOO great! I copied/pasted it to all of our state homeschool email groups!! Hope it will help somebody laugh today!!!
Oh, Lee! I’m so glad you were not offended by my “Power Point/Video” comment. I’m sure there are more men like mine that seem to need the audio/visual more than the written
message. Although, I am tempted to send the written chart to him…. 🙂
I vote we create a cheat sheet for all areas of life. We’ll take it to the school store and have it laminated, multiple copies too. I’m forwarding to my lovely spouse now.
That is hysterical!
That was great!
When your wife says –
“I read about a homeschooling resource today that I’m interested in.”
What she means is –
“I read some reviews, chatted online with some people who have used it, and I think it might be helpful.”
What she doesn’t mean is –
“They’ll ‘work’ I promise. I won’t ever need to spend another dime.”
====
When your wife says –
“Can you help me decide which route to go in this homeschooling matter?”
What she means is –
“I want to bounce some ideas off you, if you could spare a few minutes, because I value your input.”
What she doesn’t mean is –
“I need several hours of your time and for you to figure everything out.”
Good job, Darla! I’m looking for more ideas, too.
Blessings,
Lee
Brilliant! Also hilarious.
LOL! That was awesome! where can I find some more? btw, I”m not married, and not looking to be, but I still find this interesting.
This is just hilarious. I am homeschooling 3 kids while DH is in Afghanistan. It’s so hard to get across my thoughts when he’s sitting right here in front of me–imagine trying to get him to understand when the phone is going out on every other syllable.
I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t want him to encourage our 17 yo son through email anymore because it doesn’t matter what DH says, DS interprets it as “just do whatever schoolwork you think valuable and skip the rest.” DH assures me that he’s NOT saying that.
I think I will tag-team him when he gets off the plane and disappear for a few days. All by myself. Maybe I’ll give him a few days home before I do that.
But first I’m sending him your blog post.
PS–the photo of the mystified husband is priceless!
Dear Susan,
Thank you for your service – and you’re husband’s too, of course. I hope our blog post will bring a smile to his face!
Blessings,
Lee
These are great… as a now-single mom I need to be reminded that the emotional expressions that are going through my head (what I say to myself!) really may not be exactly what I mean. Your “what she means is” actually can be a help so that *I* can figure out what I really mean!
May all of you married moms offer up a special prayer for your special, if sometimes bewildered, homeschool hero husbands!
Oh SO Funny But True. So True. 🙂
It is *so* funny because it is *so* true. Thanks for the laughs!
This list is great! Love it and I am posting it on Facebook and some other homeschooling sites.
This was awesome! I loved it! So funny, but so true!!! 🙂 Thanks!
Or women could just say what they mean. It also helps to marry a homeschool graduate so the whole family speaks the same language. 🙂
When she says: Your mother called today and told one of the kids they’re doing great considering they’re not in school. That really bugged me.
What she means is: Will you please inform your mother that comments like that will not be tolerated and she’s to keep those types of opinions to herself?
What she doesn’t mean is: Please do not tell me that I should just accept what your mother says “because you know how she is.”
*********************
When she says: The kids refused to do their school work today.
What she means: Can you please support me in bringing down the hammer on them so they don’t think they can come between us?
What it doesn’t mean: I don’t want to hear “Oh, wow, I’m sorry.” while you continue to read your email or watch your race on TV.
When your wife says, “I wish our daughter could learn as easily as ……”
What she means is, “It doesn’t seem fair that she works twice as hard for not even half the return.I grieve for her.”
What she doesn’t mean is, “I wish I had another,smarter daughter because this kid is so much work”
When your wife says, “I miss feeling successful…”
What she does mean is, “It would be nice to get firm feedback (in an interim that is less than 18 years) that homeschooling is the right choice.
What she doesn’t mean is, “my old job was more important, my old life was better.”
Having whined about these two things (and I could list 100 more!), I will say that my husband does seem to “get it” but not at a visceral level.
When she says, “Your parents were shocked that our daughter doesn’t know if the Civil War came before or after the Vietnam War”
What she means is, “Will you tell your parents to stop quizzing our kids or we might have to start quizzing them. And they WILL lose because we know more.”
What she doesn’t mean is, “I hate your parents and I haven’t forgotten that they get Memorial Day and Veterans Day confused”
I’m laughing out loud! My husband has said nearly ALL those things! Thank you!
This was great, but what we really need is a Homeschool Mom Universal Translator for Disapproving Relatives! Many of the above apply! 🙂
Oh, I hear you about the quizzing grandparents. They rarely ask about the kids’ other interests, activities and accomplishments. Once my MIL started doing it on Christmas Eve. DS#2 told her “It’s Christmas Eve, I’m not doing this with you.” My kids just walk away when they start that now.
Thanks for the giggle, Lee! 🙂
Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I needed a laugh today 🙂
LOL! 😀 This is great! I wish I had this translation sheet for my husband in the earlier years! Hats off to you both… thanks a ton for sharing with us all.
Corine
As a work-outside-the-home mom married to a homeschooling dad, this makes me appreciate all the more that most men (my husband included) just say what they mean straight out- and mean what they say. Much easier to help them that way. Try it with your husbands someday!
I really like Darla’s. It hits right in my back yard. We need to keep adding to this. I really think, although it is hilarious,that husbands really find this helpful. good stuff.
Just in the middle of my second year homeschooling. Stumbled across this and couldn’t stop laughing! Thanks! I’ll link to it on my site.
Thanks for linking it to your site, Audrie!
Blessings,
Lee
We call this “pink and blue” talking in our house. We took a class at our church called “Love and Respect” and they focus in on pink and blue talking and hearing. The trick is (as in the article) learning to be in the middle (purple talking and hearing) and understanding one another. Great article! My husband loves it and so do I.
My favorite is “this place is a pigsty” Vs “”honey of course I’ll get you a Beer.”
“Could you please go yell at the children and make us all cry?”
bwahahaha. i didn’t know these miscommunications were so universal 🙂 *cute*.
Humorous…but I’ve never said any of these things to my husband…because I can’t. In 26 years of hs with another 10 to go, I have yet to experience the freedom of telling it like it is. Hubby is a passive supporter; he loves to brag about ACT scores, success in college, etc.; and there have been a few good conversations about child #x and the progress or lack thereof, the good things or the bad, etc. But those have been few; it is, in this home, a single-parent endeavor within a marriage. I hope I don’t sound bitter or angry because I am not; we have been married long enough that I simply accept reality. Maybe I am a bit jealous, tho, of other wives’ freedom to express themselves, because even tho I know the list was meant to be humorous, and so is probably somewhat exaggerated, a lot of it just sounds like whiny women to me. I am on my own in so many ways that I am effectively a single parent, and I can’t even imagine saying any of those things to my husband.
I did appreciate others’ additions to the list…and to every one who commented on relatives’ criticism/skepticism whether vague or blunt, I am sorry that this makes your road harder. It is a hard job to muck through the swamp and then fall into a hole created by those we love. Keep teaching the kids to love the relatives even though they create bumps in the road. 🙂
[…] is brilliant! I followed a FB link that Wendy liked and found this handy little Homeschool Mom Universal Translator guide. Craig and I […]
L OH! L
…*sigh*…How I wish I ALSO had someone to complain to on bad days.
…Then again, I’m thinking it’s been good KYMSAYEO training for the teen years…(keep your mouth shut and your ears open 😉
Fantastic! I love it …. spot on! Including the comments as well …. and indeed the communication via skype and email as hubby’s on go round #4 in Iraq brings in a whole nother level of what you heard! LOL ….
[…] Homeschool Mom Universal Translator […]
Thank you so much for sharing this! … how funny! …
Kathy A.
Soooo true! Printed it out for my husband. He can refer back to it as a guide. Thanks.
Sharing this on Facebook. Thank you Mr Homescholar!
Thanks for sharing it with others, Kim! I always giggle each time I read this!
Blessings,
Lee
Forwarding to my hubby! Thanks, Mr. HomeScholar!
Here’s an idea. Ignore column A and column C. Use column B. Translations not required.
Oh, this is definitely going up on the refrigerator!
Love it! So true! Thanks, Matt & Lee!
It’s good to know that admitting to one bad day so often translates into “Let’s dump the kids back into public-school-pergatory!” I thought I was the only woman who had to deal with that response.
What I say is this: I’m looking at these programs, which do you think our children will benefit from more?
What I mean: I want ONE, and you know our children too, and I value your insight into their personalities. Please give me your opinion, even if it is different than mine, so I know I have considered all bases.
What I ABSOLUTELY DO NOT MEAN: It doesn’t matter, whichever, so you pick by going eenie meenie miney moe, so I don’t have to make a decision.
Thanks for the reminder of why I put my kids in school! Having those negative and self deprecating thoughts and feelings constantly is no healthy way to live, especially when your husband just doesn’t get it!
SO funny. When I was first homeschooling and would get stressed out and try to talk through it w/my husband he would often reply that maybe we should just put the kids in school. I finally said, “What would you say if you came home to me to tell me about your hard day and I told you to quit your job? Because that is what you are doing to me. I don’t want to quit my job, I just need to talk through the newness of the difficulties here, just like you do.”
Also, when we started homeschooling, I wrote up a sheet of expectations telling my hubby what it would require of him. It woke him up a little and made him realize we were making a lifestyle choice. Until then, he said he had mostly thought it would be something I would do as long as I wanted to… 8 yrs and going strong.
When your wife says: There is a great homeschool conference going on next weekend …
What she means is: Don’t make any plans. You are babysitting.
What she DOESN’T mean is: Tell me if you think I should go or not 🙂
—
When your wife says: “I can’t get a single thing done!”
What she means is: “Please fold some laundry.”
What she doesn’t mean is: “Please call up your mother to come help me out a bit.”
My wife came and sat my but# down and said read this… then pointed to “My children are horrible.”… and that’s the one we just had!!!! we all laughed and I feel better that this is common! Well done.
Wives of male lawyers are not called “lawyer moms,” so I’m not sure why husbands of HS moms are “homeschool dads.” I AM a homeschool dad, in that I have been my daughter’s primary teacher for 6 years. My wife works full time as a public school teacher.
I appreciate that we are an extreme minority. Please appreciate that the label “homeschool dad” has a radically different, and mostly unappreciated definition for those of us who do this job.
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